One Thing

In the movie “City Slickers,” Billy Crystal’s character asks Jack Palance’s character Curly, the old wizened cowboy, what the meaning of life is. Curly holds up his index finger.
“Your finger?”
“One thing,” Curly replies.
“Well, what is it?”
“That’s what you have to figure out.”

When my grandfather died, the room was filled with his wife and seven children. I say “filled” because it was not just their bodily presences, but also their love and memories that filled the room. My grandfather’s favorite Frank Sinatra CDs were playing. I got such a sense of that love, more so than the sadness, as he quietly slipped away. That was nearly 10 years ago. In that room, I discovered what my one thing is.

Today I attended another funeral. A lady who had a long and beautiful life, and died at 95. At this funeral was gathered the physical representation of that same one thing: her large family. They were laughing and crying at the same time. They shared memories of her love, graciousness, concern, cooking, and generosity. Two of her sons are jazz musicians. The second tangible manifestation of that one thing was hearing two of the songs her sons had created for her; inspired by her. To see love, to hear it. It was incredible.

Sometimes our vision of things gets distorted. Day to day, we get embroiled in the minutiae and fail to see the big picture or the long term. Sometimes, if we’re not careful, this can cost us what matters most. But some people are more clear-sighted. They are able to consistently see what is most important to them. They are able to ignore the distractions. This lovely lady never lost track of her one thing. I hope I will be as smart.